❝Story1:07:30
The Christmas Day Suicide Attempt That Ended at a Waffle House
Bryce Crawford describes planning to end his life on Christmas Day 2020 after years of undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and a pornography addiction that began in fifth grade. He tells his family he's going to Waffle House for what he privately considers his last meal, gets seated with a stranger, and has a moment of spiritual clarity mid-conversation that stops him.
- Depression and anxiety began at 13 after his grandfather's death, which he blamed on God
- He carried a hidden pornography addiction from fifth grade after being shown explicit content by a stranger on a beach
- He planned the attempt with a knife, wrote a note, and told his family he was going to Waffle House as cover
- A stranger's offhand comment about his failing marriage triggered a sudden emotional and spiritual breakthrough
- He credits that night, December 25, 2020, as the start of his conversion and the end of the addiction
“I was the most broken, guilty, shameful, prideful, lust-filled, selfish version of myself in that Waffle House. But I was the most honest version of…”
“God, if you're real, take away my anxiety and depression because this is why I want to take my life.”
#mental-health#suicide#conversion-story#depression
❝Story1:20:30
Shawn Ryan Reveals His Own 2017 Suicide Attempt
In response to Bryce's story, Shawn Ryan discloses that he attempted suicide in 2017 by running his car in a closed garage while intoxicated, shortly after leaving CIA contracting work. He describes waking up disoriented, discovering a gun had also been staged, and surviving only because the car's gas tank melted and leaking fuel narrowly avoided igniting.
- The attempt followed leaving CIA contracting and feeling a loss of purpose
- He was intoxicated and doesn't fully remember the sequence of events
- A melted gas tank dripping fuel onto the exhaust nearly caused an explosion in his condo building
- He says he 'shouldn't be here' and doesn't view his survival as coincidental
“Almost died three or four times. I shouldn't be here.”
“No purpose, no Jesus. I'd recently left contracting for the CIA. Felt no purpose.”
#mental-health#suicide#veterans#purpose
❝Story13:00
Sitting Down With 89-Year-Old Kenneth Copeland Despite Disagreeing With Him
Bryce recounts securing a rare four-hour sit-down interview with prosperity gospel preacher Kenneth Copeland, whom he theologically disagrees with. He explains the prosperity gospel's core claim, why he thinks it misreads scripture, and describes an unguarded moment after the interview when Copeland, off camera, tearfully told him he desperately needs Jesus every day.
- The prosperity gospel claims God wants every believer healthy, wealthy, and prospering
- Crawford argues Paul's 'thorn in the side' and other biblical suffering contradicts that claim
- It was reportedly Copeland's first sit-down interview in over 15 years
- After the cameras stopped, an emotional Copeland told Crawford he needs Jesus every day
- The moment gave Crawford a 'soft spot' for Copeland despite disagreeing with his theology
“He looks at me and he just goes, I really need Jesus. Like, I need him. I need him every day.”
#prosperity-gospel#theology#interview-story
❝Story19:00
The KKK Leader Who Said He'd Let His Family Die Rather Than Take Black Blood
Bryce describes sitting down with a self-described KKK pastor in Arkansas who told him Black and Asian people are of lesser moral value than white people, and Shawn recalls a separate, older interview in which a KKK leader said he would refuse a black person's blood transfusion even if it meant letting his own wife or child die.
- The KKK leader claimed moral worth is determined by skin color
- He claims to be a pastor while leading an Arkansas KKK chapter
- Shawn separately recalls a KKK interview where the subject said he'd let his family die rather than accept a black blood donor
- Both hosts frame the moment as illustrating the depth of dehumanizing ideology they've encountered
“The KKK leader looked at me in the face and said black people and Asian people are of lesser moral value than white people.”
“The only blood available for the blood transfusion would have been a black person's blood. He said he would refuse it and let his wife…”
#racism#extremism#interview-story
❝Story52:30
Twice Inside the Satanic Temple, Praying It Never Gets a Third Believer
Bryce describes visiting the Satanic Temple's headquarters in Salem, Massachusetts, twice — a self-described political activist group rather than a literal worship space — to pray for the conviction of everyone who walks through it, and explains the physical heaviness he says he felt inside.
- The Satanic Temple functions more as a political activist museum than a ritual space
- It promotes abortion rights and displays the Baphomet statue as a counter to Ten Commandments displays in schools
- Crawford describes a felt sense of heaviness and unease specific to that location, more than most places he visits
- He and his team went specifically to pray inside rather than to protest outside
“It's sincerely one of the darkest places I've ever been in in my life. And both times we went in there, we went in there…”
#satanic-temple#mission-trips#spiritual-warfare
❝Story2:31:00
Burning Man Was Darker Than the Satanic Temple
Bryce describes a mission trip to Burning Man, which he says was the darkest environment he's encountered, more so than the Satanic Temple, marked by public group sex, open drug use, and thousands of people he describes as searching without turning to faith — while producing some of his most meaningful one-on-one conversations.
- Burning Man temporarily becomes the second-largest city in Nevada, with 70,000-80,000 attendees
- Crawford describes an 'orgy bus' with scheduled group sex alongside drug use and open nudity
- He says he consciously prayed for protection over his eyes and heart before entering
- He turned down LSD twice on-site and says he had unusually open conversations about faith
- He and his team skip years when they don't feel specifically called to attend
“It's not a freethinking art festival. It's a big LSD orgy. That's what it is.”
“I got offered LSD twice when I was walking around and I was like, no, but I got something better than LSD.”
#burning-man#mission-trips#addiction-culture
❝Story2:36:30
Furry Convention Outreach Turned Up an 18+ Exhibit Hall
Bryce recounts attending furry conventions as a mission field, describing an event roughly as dark as Burning Man in his estimation, including an age-restricted exhibit hall selling explicit furry merchandise, and his concern that some attendees — many of them adults in their 50s — were using the persona to hide from their identity rather than express it.
- He estimates over half the attendees at the events he visited were adults, some in their 50s
- An 18+ exhibit hall required ID verification and sold explicit furry-themed merchandise
- He says the environment felt like it normalized grooming behavior
- His team was removed from an earlier convention but allowed to stay longer at a later one
- He frames the outreach around identity: encouraging people to be who he believes God made them rather than hide behind a persona
“I would argue Furrycon was just as dark as Burning Man.”
“It just felt like people were getting groomed. That's what it felt like.”
#furry-fandom#mission-trips#identity
❝Story2:34:30
He Admired Her From Afar in Eighth Grade, Then She Walked Into His Bible Study
Bryce tells the story of meeting his now-wife Maddie, whom he'd admired from a distance since eighth grade at a different school, only to have her unexpectedly walk into a Bible study he was hosting years later in Los Angeles, leading to a Waffle House road trip, a two-year courtship, and marriage in January 2026.
- He knew who she was in eighth grade; she had no idea who he was
- She unexpectedly showed up to a Wednesday night Bible study he hosted in his LA apartment
- An early road trip to the nearest Waffle House, in Phoenix, became a key bonding moment
- They dated two years, got engaged in October 2025, and married January 10, 2026
“I said, hi, my name is Bryce. She said, hi, I'm Maddie. And I went, I know.”
#marriage#relationships#personal-story